It's over and I'm done...

AF arrived early this morning. I kinda knew she was coming, but as usual, hoped otherwise! It wouldn't have been so bad if yesterday had gone better. DH's Yukon died yesterday afternoon as he was coming home from golf. We tried jumping it, but that didn't work. We ended up having it towed back to our auto shop in town. He went in this morning to drop the keys off...sounds like it's the alternator...hopefully that won't cost too much! We need to get rid of the piece of junk, but of course owe more than it's worth!!

I've also decided to start selling all the fabric that I've purchased over the last three and a half years to make cloth diapers and stuff out of. We really need the money and I can't get myself to sew anything if we don't have a kid, so I think it's time to let it go. It's soooo sad and hard for me to do this, but I can always buy more if we ever do have a child. My hope is gone for now though. I don't think I can take much more of the heartache. :( I'm trying so hard to trust in God, but I am having a difficult time of it. Please pray for us!

1 week down, 1 to go

Actually, it will probably be less than a week since I'm not waiting on a beta! I've continued with acupuncture and it's going well. I also started exercising three weeks ago and am enjoying that. I love it once I get to the gym, but getting out of bed in the morning is the hard part! The MD I work for has been gone a lot, so I have been able to go in the middle of the day which is nice.
I will be busy the rest of this week with work and this weekend with my niece's birthday party up in Duluth on Saturday and then a get together with college friends on Sunday! Hopefully my mind will be fully occupied by all of that and no IF stuff creeps in!

2ww

Nothing too exciting going on right now. I'm pretty sure I ovulated on Wednesday, so we're now in yet another two week wait! I've still been going to acupuncture, which I really enjoy. The drive is a huge hassle, but so far worth it. Yesterday I think I fell asleep in the short half-hour that I had the needles in me! I feel so relaxed while I'm there and for a few hours afterwards. I wish I could go every day!
We used Preseed for BDing around O time this cycle. We'll see if that does anything!
I honestly feel like I'm getting closer to just giving up on ever having kids. Unless we either a) win the lottery (so we can do more IUIs or IVF or adopt) or b) miraculously get PG on our own, I don't think it's gonna happen. It's fine in some ways I guess...we can do what ever we want and not have to worry about it. But some days, I want to not have that option! I'm sick of being selfish and just thinking about me and DH! I want to be a mom!
Anyways...hopefully this two weeks goes by quickly!